“Throw it!” Throw it!” my Aunt Brenda yelled to my wife. Throw it! Throw it”! She yelled as my wife hollered back, “Where? “Up there, throw it up there under the bridge! Hook the bridge” Aunt Brenda yelled back, as my wife became more and more confused.
For some strange reason my wife decided to go fishing with our Aunt Brenda a few years ago and my wife does not fish! In fact, I really can’t remember the last time, if ever, that I saw her with a fishing pole or rod. My wife does target shoot with me every once in a while but I really can’t remember ever seeing her fish. For whatever reason these two women decided to go fishing on a "no men, two women" fishing trip to an East Texas lake.
You have to understand all of the “first” that have occurred on this weekend for my wife and Aunt Brenda. It was the first time to my memory that my wife drove alone, away from home on more than a one-hour trip. It was the first time that either one of these ladies backed a boat trailer into the water. It was the first time they ever unloaded a boat by themselves, cranked a boat by themselves and drove a boat by themselves. I was really, really worried about them and couldn’t for the life of me figure out why these two grown women decided to take this trip by themselves.
It seems though we men in their lives have been getting on their nerves and they wanted to get away for a woman’s outing. I just wish they would have gone shopping or something. I kept feeling like a mom feels when her kids are out late at night. Are they OK? Did they hurt themselves unloading the boat? What if they get stranded on the lake? What if a storm comes along and they don’t get into shore in time. What if they catch a fish! Who’s gonna take it off the line?
All of these things ran through my mind. I was a bit relieved though when the first call back message I heard on our voice mail was from my wife. “We’re in Wal-Mart and everything is OK!” Wal-Mart! What in the world does Wal-Mart have to do with fishing! Wal-Mart! Can’t they stay at home and go to Wal-Mart instead of traveling to East Texas just to go to a Wal-Mart! Oh well at least they are having a good time shopping I thought.
After hearing their story when they got home I could do nothing but be relieved and laugh at their weekend. The first occurrence was when Aunt Brenda failed to yield to an ambulance! It seems my wife and her have a bad habit of not using all of the mirrors of a car for driving. As my Aunt Brenda was sitting in a traffic jam, an ambulance with sirens blaring came up behind her and needed her to move over to clear the road. Brenda heard the sirens and kept looking from side to side trying to find the ambulance when it was actually right on the tail end of her car and she didn’t see it because she didn’t look in the rear view mirror. The next occurrence was the loading and unloading of the gas tank for the boat. It took both of them to carry it and then they had to figure out how to hook it up! Then they had to unload the boat and finally after figuring out how to crank it they were off for a trial run at fishing.
As they approached the fishing spot under a highway bridge, it was my wife’s duty to hook the rope to the bridge to tie the boat into position. What she didn’t understand though was exactly where she was she supposed to tie the rope. When Aunt Brenda was hollering “throw it” my wife thought she was supposed to attempt to throw this large grappling hook over the side of the rails of the bridge while the cars were rushing by. She was afraid to throw it too hard thinking she might hit a car. What Aunt Brenda really meant was to simply reach up to the bottom side of the bridge and tie off to one of the braces under the bridge and not on top. If I could have been a fly on the wall! The funniest part of the trip however was the “big one” my wife latched on to. After Aunt Brenda had baited my wife’s hook (remember she doesn’t fish so she doesn’t bait her own hook!) my wife let her line over the edge of the boat. Soon she began to struggle with a heavy tugging on her line and they both began to get excited by the bend made in the rod. As my wife pulled and tugged while reeling in the big one, she soon surfaced with a large strap much like a seat belt! I have her trophy on my credenza in my office as a keepsake. Needless to say they both made it home the next day and all is well and yes they did catch a few fish! I just hope their next trip they go shopping!
Clifford
