Clifford - Tribune News

Clifford (29)

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From the Book of Clifford for Nov. 19

Written by Clifford Parker Tuesday, 20 November 2012 19:22

My daughter recently showed me a picture of Superman. He was in a football uniform except this time he was in a real game. He wasn't dressed up for Halloween as he was the last time I saw him. That was over thirteen years ago and Superman had grown up. Here was a story I remembered from many, many years ago. Halloween had come and gone and I got into trouble again. It seems that every year that goes by I get in trouble for one reason or another.Some years I get into trouble for being over zealous in my…

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The Book of Clifford for Nov. 12

Written by Clifford Parker Tuesday, 13 November 2012 17:07

Last week I shared the truth about my hunting activities. I enjoy telling everyone that I enjoy hunting and I really do…but the truth be told that typically I am a lazy hunter. I enjoy the THOUGHT of hunting and I enjoy being around everybody at the camp house but when it comes to actually having to get up and go out in the field of game I become lazy. Here is what I thought was going to happen to me when I ended my story last week: I showed up at the ranch for this weekend to deer hunt.…

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From the Book of Clifford for the Week of Nov. 5

Written by Clifford Parker Tuesday, 06 November 2012 17:01

I got a phone call tonight from a Fellon. She tried to harass me, but people always forget that I can generally have the last laugh. The word is mightier than the sword. Ok, Ok, now let me straighten out this story. The Fellon that called me is actually my son's mother in law. No, she is not really a felon, but she really is a Fellon. That is her last name. She thought she could tease me about a recent situation that occurred to me. The two of us have recently had similar occurrences in our separate lives that…

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From the Book of Clifford for Oct. 29

Written by Clifford Parker Tuesday, 30 October 2012 16:15

The sun began to move lower into the sky and the wind that had been blowing all day was beginning to subside. It has been a good day. Here I now rested under the shade of the big oak tree in the middle of the pasture and not a soul around but for me, myself and I. I grabbed my thermos of coffee I had in my truck and pulled up a chair to the still standing table and began to enjoy a place that is near and dear to my heart, the Family Ranch. All the guys had left…

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From the Book of Clifford for Oct. 22

Written by Clifford Parker Monday, 22 October 2012 16:23

"Clifford, come here! Clifford, can you hear me boy, I said get in here!" "Sir", I said as I entered the unfinished kitchen. "Look at this, every one of these styles are a sixty-fourth too short or long." "What's a style Uncle Speedy and how short did you say they were?" "I said they were each a sixty-fourth too short or two long and a style is the divide between each door on these cabinets!" "Ok, but Uncle Speedy, what's a sixty fourth?" I asked. "Clifford how long have you been working on cabinets?" "Well Uncle Speedy I've only done…

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From the Book of Clifford for Sept. 24

Written by Clifford Parker Monday, 24 September 2012 15:42

Last week I started sharing with you the fact that I have fine print in my contract to no longer do volunteer handyman work for many people including working around church. It has also come to my knowledge that many people do not understand why. Even though I have ran this story before, many people forget. I'm a hard worker, I provide for my family, I love my wife and kids, I love God, Country and Apple Pie but for some reason people tend to love me but they do everything they can to avoid letting me do things with…

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From the Book of Clifford for Sept. 10

Written by Clifford Parker Monday, 10 September 2012 16:46

“Throw it!” Throw it!” my Aunt Brenda yelled to my wife. Throw it! Throw it”! She yelled as my wife hollered back, “Where? “Up there, throw it up there under the bridge! Hook the bridge” Aunt Brenda yelled back, as my wife became more and more confused. For some strange reason my wife decided to go fishing with our Aunt Brenda a few years ago and my wife does not fish! In fact, I really can’t remember the last time, if ever, that I saw her with a fishing pole or rod. My wife does target shoot with me every…

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From the Book of Clifford for Sept. 3

Written by Clifford Parker Tuesday, 04 September 2012 15:38

Joy to the World! Peace on Earth! Goodwill toward Men! Joy, Peace and Goodwill. These are three words that were penned in the Bible before shopping malls and mega super stores. Ok, yes, I do understand that it is not Christmas and no, I am not falling victim to the crush of Christmas advertising that is about to begin. I was just in a good mood because I can once again smell fall coming on and fall brings winter and winter brings the various holidays. I told my wife about three weeks ago that I can smell fall coming on…

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From the Book of Clifford for Aug. 27

Written by Clifford Parker Monday, 27 August 2012 12:23

During Easter of 2003, I had been taking care of a young Brahman heifer I had to bring back from the ranch. She had been injured by what appeared to be a swift kick in the shoulder by one of my donkeys. I couldn’t care for her at the ranch in Independence, so I loaded her up and placed her in a makeshift pen behind my house. My family had a traditional Easter gathering at my mom’s house. I lived next door to her and I had to pen this heifer in the back yard between our houses to take…

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The Book of Clifford for Aug. 20

Written by Clifford Parker Monday, 20 August 2012 16:27

Years ago, my long time friend Leon was the king of his harem. He controlled the comings and goings of his ladies and he was always the head rooster. He has always went where he wanted to go and had eaten from any trough or bucket he had desired. This all changed with the arrival of Jack and Jennie. Leon was my bull and Jack and Jennie are two donkeys I had bought several years ago. Leon had to stop interfering in everybody else’s feed bucket because Jack and Jennie had two very powerful weapons that kept Leon in line.…

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